


The Origin Of Cornflakes

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [30]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: British Comedy, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26460478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Breakfast is set into a hilarious riot when Junhui randomly remarks about the origin of cornflakes been used as a anti-masturbation device in nunneries when he sees Chan eating a bowl
Relationships: SEVENTEEN Ensemble/SEVENTEEN Ensemble
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	The Origin Of Cornflakes

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit cheeky, but, I promise you, it's deadly proper true. Have fun, my loves :)

"THE COCKING PRICE -!" Seungcheol wasn't even halfway through his first sentence and all his members were pissing themselves laughing. Seungcheol had got a parking ticket because he had attempted to pararell park into a space by the supermarket, and, actually had managed it, but, he hadn't gone into the car-park. He had gone into the disabled zone next to it. And, without a disabled permit tag hanging from his rear-vision mirror, he now had a £140 fine.

"Aw, poor Cheolie." Jeonghan put an arm around to comfort the eldest of their group.

Junhui, meanwhile, peered down into Chan's bowl of cornflakes.

"You know what cornflakes were actually invented for, right?" He said.

Chan had just had his first mouthful. "Food?" He said drily when he swallowed.

Junhui shook his head. "Old man Kellog was a real fire and brimstone Catholic; he made cornflakes out of the rubbish bit of crop and they used to put them in the mattresses of nuns, priests, monks and Deans as a anit-masturbation device."

The whole kitchen and dining room fucking lost it. 

"Shua?!" Eleven voice called out to double-check.

Joshua was very red in the face. "And it was to make sure none of the nuns got up to lesbionics, either." He eventually said, confirming it.

Eleven young men cheered while Junhui sat there at the kitchen table with a shit-eating grin on his face and Joshua hunched down by the kettle, wanting to disappear into the floor.

"That would have been the most uncomfortable bed." Chan still went on eating his breakfast.

"Yeah, but their beds were either slabs of wood or stone with a thin blanket because you always had to be cold for God." Vernon remarked.

Minghao said everyone off again by saying, "Well, it wouldn't have worked if they did it up against a wall."

"Yeah, or over a desk." Mingyu added in. 

Everyone was beside themselves. Even Joshua was having a bit of a giggle now.

"You'd have to turn the whole place into cornflakes!" Seokmin exclaimed.

It toned down after a little while.

"But how the fuck did old man Kellogs come up with that?"

Joshua's mug of tea was sprayed across the room at Seungkwan's words. He fell to his knees on the kitchen, coughing and spluttering, some oft he boiling hot liquid having made exit through his sinuses. Seungcheol and Soonyoung checked he was ok, but, Joshua couldn't help laughing. He full collapsed before rolling onto his back on the floor.

"Yeah, like, he must have been obsessed with it." Seokmin agreed with Seungkwan.

"But have you ever seen a picture of him?" Vernon said. "He's an ugly cunt, probably had a hard time getting some."

Jeonghan laughed. "Must have got wankers claw." He gestured.

"JEONGHAN!" Joshua yelled, nearly crying from laughing so much, as did Seungcheol, who raced to wrap his arms around Chan's head so his hearing and sight were cut off.

As were his breathing.

"MMM-GGFFFHHH!" Chan slapped Seungcheol in protest, before wriggling free of his grasp, his skin pink and breathless. Chan looked up at him. "Twat."

"Don't call your Father a twat." Jeonghan chided, barging in between Minghao and Mingyu so he could cuddle up with Mingyu. Minghao hovered a pair of chopsticks by Jeonghan's ear as though he was going to set them inside and search around for the brain that Jeonghan never had.

"Everyone, calm down." Junhui appealed, having been the one to start it.

All day, they kept giggling on and off.

"Fucking cornflakes...." Junhui heard Vernon mumble on later to himself as they danced.


End file.
